June 2013
i’m going to survey and see if it’s true that a guys lips are the same color as the head of their penis
The year is 2540, a student in history class notices something off about his textbook. “How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999?” The teacher puts his air-marker down on the table, lowers his head, and sighs. “Because…” he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, “… only 90’s kids remember the 90’s”
When your friends start picking up phrases you use all the time
*masturbates to the weather channel*
“oh yeah baby, bring that cold front”
let’s play a game called “are you staring at me because im hot or ugly”
when a friend buys u food and says u dont have to pay them back u know they are forever
It’s been almost 2 years since friday by rebecca black can you believe it
reasons to let me cuddle you:
- I will stick my cold hands all over your body
- I’ll probably fall asleep on you and make cute sleep noises
- I can lay there long enough for the second coming of christ
- nuzzling???
- I will be smiling the whole time
- you’re warm and I’m not
- let me leech your heat
- please
“Being an artist means forever healing your own wounds and at the same time endlessly exposing them.”
—(via mols)
“I can be manipulated only so many times before even ‘I love you’ starts to feel like a lie. You have a hollowed out heart but it’s heavy in your chest, I’ve tried so hard to find it but it’s hopeless.”
—Demi Lovato / For the Love of a Daughter (via taylorthelatteboy)
when i’m married my partner and i will have:
- morning sex
- afternoon sex
- dinner sex
- after meal sex
- i made pancakes sex
- good morning sex
- they kids are at school sex
- shower sex
- bored sex
- make up sex
- break up sex
- obama won sex
- romney lost sex
- monday sex
- tuesday sex
- wednesday sex
- thursday sex
- friday sex
- saturday sex
- monday sex
- there is nothing on tv sex
- i love you sex
what about sunday
sunday is the lord’s day praise jesus
i bet autocorrect was invented in he’ll
Out of curiosity I opened GoT in iBooks to see page count. It’s 1014… Immediately I’m like whatev I’ve read fics longer than that.
have u ever accidentally befriended someone who is very very irritating
Reblog this if you are literally suprised when people find you attractive.
then I’m like:
